Y’all, my little brother said something the other day that stuck to my soul like a gummy vitamin melted into a cupholder:
“I was just trying to make peace.”
And it hit me because I’ve said those same words more times than I can count — usually while trying to referee children who behave like tiny, adorable pirates battling over a cardboard treasure map.
The Iron Man Incident
The other night Basketball Boy was big mad.
Like “flop onto the sofa dramatically” mad.
Why?
Because Bean Boy and Tater Tot had a plan — a peaceful, innocent, nobody’s feelings getting hurt plan — to watch Iron Man in Bean Boy’s room.
Basketball Boy was more than invited.
He did not want to watch Iron Man in Bean Boy’s room.
He wanted everyone to do play Minecraft, in his room.
So naturally, I swooped in like the exhausted diplomat I am:
“Everyone needs to play together nicely. Compromise. Include everyone.”
It sounded wise. It sounded motherly.
But it wasn’t peace.
It was people-pleasing disguised as parenting.
Because what I really did was bulldoze the kids who had a perfectly good plan just to soothe the child who was the loudest.
That wasn’t peacemaking.
That was peacekeeping — and there’s a huge difference.
Peacemaker vs. Peacekeeper
Jesus said:
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” — Matthew 5:9
Not peacekeepers.
Not people-pleasers.
Not “moms who scramble to fix every meltdown before the neighbors hear.”
A peacekeeper tries to make things quiet.
A peacemaker works toward what’s healthy and true.
Peacekeepers avoid conflict.
Peacemakers address it kindly and honestly.
Peacekeepers hush the tension.
Peacemakers heal it.
And the older I get, the more clearly I see it:
Fake peace is often just fear in disguise.
The Caveat: Peacemaking Never Involves Sowing Discord
Sometimes people call themselves “peacemakers” when what they’re actually doing is stirring the pot. Scripture warns against this:
“The Lord hates… one who sows discord among brothers.” — Proverbs 6:19
A peacemaker never:
- gossips
- triangulates
- pits people against each other
- manipulates
- creates drama then pretends to clean it up
Paul doubled down on this:
“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” — Ephesians 4:3
You cannot create unity by breaking people apart.
You cannot build peace by creating tension.
You cannot call yourself a peacemaker if your actions leave wreckage behind you.
Even my moment with the kids showed me this truth:
When I sided with the loudest child rather than the fairest solution, I unintentionally added to the conflict.
Peace built on imbalance isn’t peace — it’s resentment waiting to bloom.
So What Does Real, Jesus-Style Peacemaking Look Like?
Jesus never avoided conflict.
He never created conflict for attention.
He engaged it with purpose, honesty, and love.
Real peacemaking looks like:
- Protecting the two kids who made a plan
- Helping Basketball Boy learn that disappointment isn’t exclusion
- Teaching boundaries, not erasing them
- Choosing fairness over quiet
- Choosing truth over temporary calm
And yes… sometimes the path to peace is louder before it gets quieter.
Peace Begins With Perspective
In the end, Bean Boy and Tater Tot weren’t excluding anyone.
Basketball Boy wasn’t being attacked.
It was simply one child upset that the world didn’t match his vision in that moment.
A peacemaker sees the whole picture, not just the loudest piece.
Sometimes I have to pause, breathe, and remember:
This isn’t a crisis.
This isn’t rejection.
This isn’t drama.
This is childhood.
And motherhood — and the spiritual life — often require the same wisdom:
Don’t confuse temporary quiet with real peace.
Don’t confuse people-pleasing with peacemaking.
And don’t confuse conflict-avoidance with Christlikeness.
Peace is built on truth, fairness, and love — not fear or pressure.
GUIDED PRAYER
Lord, make me a true peacemaker.
Help me seek what is right, not just what is quiet.
Help me protect the hearts of everyone involved — not just the loudest one.
Teach me to pause before I react, to listen before I fix, and to speak with wisdom instead of fear.
Show me when to step in, when to step back, and when to let You work in the middle of the mess.
Let my home — and my heart — reflect Your kind of peace.
Amen.
DEVOTIONAL ACTION STEPS
1. Pause Before You Fix
When conflict arises, give yourself five seconds to breathe and evaluate what’s actually happening.
2. Identify What’s True
Ask: Is someone truly being hurt, or is someone simply disappointed?
3. Protect the Innocent Plan
Honor the kids who made a harmless plan without letting louder emotions override fairness.
4. Teach Disappointment as a Skill
Guide your child through it gently — it’s an essential life skill.
5. Guard Against Discord
Check your own motives:
Am I resolving a problem, or am I creating more tension by choosing the wrong kind of peace?
6. Pray For Wisdom Daily
Ask God to shape your responses into ones that build unity and real peace.
Leave a Reply