Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we’re called to do — especially when it means forgiving without letting someone back in. Learning forgiveness with boundaries isn’t about holding a grudge; it’s about protecting the peace God’s given you. In this post, I share how a five-year-old with crayons reminded me that grace can be real, funny, and sometimes a little bit colorful.
Miss May was at the kitchen table the other afternoon, humming the Golden and surrounded by what looked like 300 broken crayons and a dream. She was creating what she proudly called her “family portrait.”
She held it up with a big smile — a colorful scene of stick figures, hearts, and a rainbow. Everyone was there… almost.
“Where are Bean Boy and Tater Tot?”
Without looking up, she shrugged and said matter-of-factly, “They were mean to me, so they’re not here right now.”
Then she went right back to coloring completely unbothered, like her decision was both logical and final.
I had to turn away to hide my laugh. But later, I thought, maybe she’s onto something.
Five-year-olds don’t overcomplicate things the way adults do.
If someone hurts them, they take a step back, draw a new boundary, and keep coloring. No overthinking. No grudges. Just, “They’re not here right now.”
And honestly, that might be one of the most spiritually healthy things I’ve heard all week.
Because forgiveness doesn’t always mean pulling people right back into your picture.
It doesn’t mean pretending the hurt didn’t happen.
It doesn’t mean ignoring the lesson you learned.
It doesn’t mean sitting at a table with someone who’s still swinging their fork at you.
Forgiveness is about lifting your own burden.
It’s about releasing the anger, resentment, and constant replay of the moment someone hurt you. It’s letting God carry what you were never meant to drag around.
It’s saying, “I want you to eat — truly — but not at my table.”
And I’ll go a step further: if my husband or my children aren’t welcome at your table, I won’t be there either.
Love and loyalty can still come with limits.
Sometimes being the bigger person doesn’t mean walking back in — it means staying back. It means saying, “Lord, I forgive them, but I’m letting You handle it from here.”
Even Jesus, when He forgave, didn’t say “Carry on as usual.”
He said, “Go and sin no more.” (John 8:11)
That wasn’t a threat; it was an invitation.
An invitation to change.
Because real forgiveness doesn’t ignore sin; it calls people toward something better.
And when someone refuses to change, it’s okay — even wise — to give yourself space.
Forgiveness frees your heart; it doesn’t demand your constant exposure.
That’s exactly what Joseph understood.
His own brothers betrayed him threw him into a pit, sold him into slavery, and lied to their father for years. But when famine struck and those same brothers came begging for help, Joseph had every right to slam the door.
Instead, he forgave them.
He wept, he blessed them, and he gave them food.
But here’s the part we often miss: Joseph didn’t move them back into his palace.
He settled them in Goshen — nearby, but not with him.
He loved them at a safe distance.
He forgave, but he didn’t forget the wisdom the pain had taught him.
In Genesis 50:20, Joseph told them, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” He didn’t deny the harm, he just refused to live under it anymore.
And that’s what forgiveness looks like for us, too.
Not pretending it didn’t hurt.
Not rushing to sit back down at someone else’s table.
But releasing the weight, learning the lesson, and letting God work it for good.
So maybe Miss May’s five-year-old theology isn’t far off.
Some people just aren’t “in the picture right now.”
And that’s okay.
You can love them.
You can pray for them.
You can wish them well…from the other side of the crayon line.
Because grace doesn’t mean access.
Mercy doesn’t mean no boundaries.
And forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to shrink your peace to make someone else comfortable.
Forgive freely. Guard wisely.
And keep coloring your life with joy, even if a few stick figures are missing for now.
Key Verses:
- “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23
- “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” — Genesis 50:20
- “Go and sin no more.” — John 8:11
Devotional Action:
Think of someone who’s hurt you and the weight you’ve been carrying. Pray and release that burden to God. Ask Him to help you forgive fully — even if forgiveness means loving from afar.
Guided Prayer:
“Lord, thank You for forgiving me completely. Help me release every hurt that’s kept me stuck. Teach me when to offer grace, when to draw boundaries, and how to protect the peace You’ve placed within my home.”
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